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Topic: our story -5
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Posts: 26
Registered: 5/3/10
our story -5
Posted: May 3, 2010 10:53 AM
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what people feel on the INSIDE can be quite different from what we THINK they should be feeling..based on what's going on on the OUTSIDE.

I know that my insides don't always match what's going on in my external world.

I sometimes feel anxious or even depressed for no apparent reason...even when life is going great.

so...he suffers.
whether (anyone else thinks) he has a reason to suffer or not.

and really...we ALL have reasons.
we suffer.
it is part of being human.

I know that there's a hole in him that he, as of yet, has been unable to fill.

I know TONS about addiction....and I know he is right there...right on the edge....
and I know the downward spiral...and the depths to which addiction can take us...
and still, I cannot save him.

I am so grateful for my own experience in addiction (I never thought I'd be able to say that...it has brought me so much pain)...

if I'd not been through what I have, my son would not be in treatment right now.... I would not have known.

I know he's in a great facility and I know that he's getting help...
I know that he has a chance...and I do have hope.
lots of hope.

but I also know about that hole that is so difficult to fill...and so far... drugs are the only way that he's come even close to filling it.

I fear for him....
and I wonder what I could have done differently...
and I suffer.

and I pray.... I denied the existence of God for many years...but now, I pray...a LOT.

I know I am doing all of the right things...and still...I wonder what more I can do.

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