I've been reading this forum for many months and just joined today.
Thanks for everyone here sharing and caring. I can't believe how similar our stories are.
I have an addicted 19-year-old daughter who ran off a year ago to live with an alcohol-addicted family (who thinks her behavior is normal)
We barely speak now because she is so filled with hate and rage (we were once very close).
I go to 12 step meetings but there is nothing I can do for my daughter. I understand that this is her fight and it's so frustrating that I can't fight her addiction for her. It also is difficult to watch her self-destruct - it's like watching a suicide in slow motion.
My story isn't new, original or shocking- it's actually pretty predictable when you add addiction to a family.
I guess I'm writing this to ask for your prayers because I pretty much ran out of them today.
Thanks to everyone for your welcome and your prayers. I feel safe here because you all 'get it' where my family is pretty clueless and judgmental to my new life with an addicted kid.
And to David:
You have perfectly described the panic and desperation of a parent who is discovering that he cannot save his child. Your book helped me last year to fast-forward through that 'trying-to-save-a-person-who-doesn't-need/want help-and-is running-too-fast-to-catch-anyway' phase and I REALLY thank you for that. You also helped a little in lessening my guilt because you, like me, were very close to your child and the addiction swallowed both of you regardless. (What parent of an addict doesn't have a heap of self blame?)
I'm glad to have a place to come and share our experiences- it does somehow lessen the pain.
Your story is so similar to mine. I will pray for you and your child. Please continue to contribute to this forum. You will find it very helpful and a source of healing in this so difficult/painful journey.
I am praying for you. I know our stories are similar, just different names and different drugs. We are all here to support each other, in any way we can. You have to take care of yourself. Find a new hobby, go for a long walk. I havent talked to my son in almost 8 weeks. The last time he called he was very angry with me, because I told him NO. I am going to keep saying that too. He was to go to court today for DUI. It has been almost a year since his traffic accident. I am the parent that is standing firm and not helping him anymore. He has to want to help himself. My counselor has told me to take care of myself. That is what I am doing. Sunday is Mothers Day. I am planning on going to watch a baseball game. It is really supposed to be a nice day. Keep looking up.
Good Morning Lauren, Good Morning All, It's still morning here on the high desert. Lauren, we are all here for you. I haven't seen my daughter (the oldest) in 4 and a half years, haven't talked to her for 10 months. Hear reports from the youngest, just bits and pieces. She told her sister that she was quiting meth because it made her so "goofey". Well this crap, this Nazi drug, has changed her personality, made so cruel and has destroyed her life. The snapping back from meth just doesn't happen like from cocaine. I never thought I would say this to anyone. Is there anyway you can get her arrested? Serving some time may break the cycle. The women in our jails and prisons are not the cream of the crop but the druggies she is living with are worse. There is some drug rehap in prison. Maybe not the best but better than nothing. Please let us hear from you. Take care of yourself. Make yourself number ONE!! Not easy to learn I know. It's your only chance of having a life. Others need you! Best wishes, Deb
Welcome Lauren and hello everyone else, I'm coming around after months of being buried in work. Lauren, I have a 20 year-old daughter who is in recovery (as far as I know at this moment) for heroin addiction. I called the police on her almost three years ago and that call set in motion her getting into treatment. She has relapsed a few times, but moved away from her using friends, started college and seems to be doing well. There are days when I regret that she has a felony on her record because I turned her in, but most days I feel overwhelmed with gratitude that she is alive and seems like her old self (at least over the phone). I agree with Deb. Getting arrested may be what saves her life. They're so young. I feel like we have to do everything we can as soon as we can to stop them from using while they still have a chance. It's not your responsibility to get her sober, but maybe you can help. She might just need a few days of sobriety to realize what a mess her life has become. I'm glad you've found this forum, Lauren. When I joined about a year ago I felt so isolated. Communicating with people who really understood what I was going through changed my life. Good luck.
One of the best days in my past 17 years was the day I found this site and the days I read Beautiful Boy. I was no longer alone and this community "gets it". No more trying to hide or explain. Welcome, I'm praying for you too.