I am always hesitant to give a postive update as i am afraid i might jinx it. I will be brave this morning. My son is presently in his third treatment centre.
He attempted suicide June 5, 2010- very close to sucessful - was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. He then spent 5 days on the mental health unit. He admitted he was a drug addict and asked to be sent to treatment. I was hoping this would be the outcome so i had begun researching treatment centres and bed availability. He went thru many medical issues - due to the overdose on anti-depressants and sleeping pills. Which was very scary for himself and myself and his dad. He has not had a seizure for a month but remains on anti seizure medicine for another few months. He has just completed residential treatment and has now commenced extended living. He finally told his therapist and then myself and his dad that he was sexually assaulted when he was 13 years old. I hoped that this was one of his lies - but it was not. It certainly seems that since sharing his "secret" he really wants to get to clean this time. He requested that he be drug tested everyday while at extended (sober) living. He is extremely nervious saying he only knows how to be an addict or live in a bubble (treatment) which i prefer over cocky. I do not dare get overly hopeful.
We were very fortunate that our son had what i considered an extremly knowledgable pscharatist while he was on the mental health unit of the hospital. I was obviously very overwelmed and tired - and i think it showed. The pscharatrist told me to give addiction a rest and take some time for myself and just pointed out a few rules that parents need to follow to help (not enable)their child. Whenever i find myself having to make decisions about/for my son i just go back to the few simple rules - where in the past i would spend hours on the internet trying to find answers.
Thanks to everyone that shares their stories and feelings. And thanks to everyone that listens.
hey there, i really hope your son gets the help he needs! you and him are in my thoughts and prayers. from my own personal experience of being raped, it's a HUGE step to tell someone and to open up that scar that has been trying to heal for such a long time. also i think its great that you're there for him and want him to get the help he needs. not everyone has a mother like that, i know i didn't. i tryed several times to commet suicide and each time my mom cared less and less it seemed till the point she yelled at me while i was in a mental hospital and i attempted suicide there too but they found me in my room before it was too late. its a scarry thing, and i don't know how it feels on your side of the feild but i do understand what your son's going through. what he needs now is love, and a ton of it, that and to feel like you and his dad accept him even though he has his faults, just that you want the best for him and for him to be healthy and the beautiful boy he was and is deep inside. wish you and your family the best of luck, wishes, and prayers. x0-Jess
Winnie, Thanks for the update on your life. No one knows what combination of factors collide at the right moment and the addict just is willing to surrender to another way of thinking. I understand the cautious optimism and I hope for your son's sake that his days collect together until a daily craving for drugs is no longer the most important thing in his life. My son was just talking about that - he said " The only difference between me and every other drug addict is that I no longer crave drugs." The issues will still be there and it seems that he is making huge strides in addressing those. Taking a break from addiction for you is such wise advice. Sometimes easier said than done, but a goal to which to aspire. Take care Winnie, I hope all good things for a while... Laura
Thank you for your kinds words. My son says he still has cravings but hopefully he can "beat" them and continue with his recovery. All i can do is be supportive, NOT enable and let him work the program. As we all know that sounds easy - but i am trying.
Hi Winnie, So happy that your son has begun his healing path after revealing the hurt of being molested. I too have been through that same pain, but somehow God spared me from becoming an addict. We all handle pain differently. I believe my son has been molested too but he won't say it. I just pray that my boy has the courage to share with someone now that he's in rehab. I'm glad things are looking better for your family. Keep believing and hoping for the best.
My son is still clean - confirmed by drug tests - which at this point is the only proof i will accept as the truth. My son is still in extended care and says he enjoys it. His next step is programs for mornings and school, work or volunteering in the afternoons. He still sees a therapist once a week for one on one - which i think he still needs as he has an issue to work thru. He still hears a voice (the man that molested him) but he now knows it is not real - he says he mostly hears it when he is walking - as he still thinks he is chasing him. Sometimes he will phone me or his dad if he is walking when he has trouble making it go away. I am not sure if he has IPOD priveledges yet - but i thought maybe if he listened to an IPOD while walking it might distract him. I will suggest it to him today - but i think he should talk to his therapist first incase she wants him to hear them and use other "tools" for them to go away. One of his past behaviours that he needs to change if he wants to stay clean is to call his sponsor or his family when times are tough - he would not do that before - so maybe that is what his therapist is suggesting he do. I will remain cautiously optimistic
Thanks to all for your support. We are going to visit our son this weekend. We are bringing him a bike, he is not allowed to drive for a while due to the seizures. We are also bringing his dog which he has not seen since June 5/10. He has another few months in extended care then back home. On selfish days i wish he could stay there forever but i know that is not reality and he will be home and all the worry will start all over again. Oh well i should enjoy the time i do have. He has been clean since June 5/10 which i believe is his longest sobriety. I believe the extended care is helpful for life skills in general. I guess i should take one day at a time also.