I cried as I read your book. The phone ringing to this day can send me to the bathroom sick. I will never get over the sound of the phone. The sound of the phone, can bring joy, or it can bring sorrow.
You and I can not blame ourselves. My son was not from a broken home. He had a very stable structured life. He was a baseball star in high school, gifted student, etc.
My son whose drug of choice is marijuana had gotten in trouble with the police. He was in his first year of college , straight A's and two weeks left of the semester when a judge put him in jail for 30 days for failing a drug test. (marijuana) Since 9th grade I tried to get help, but they say marijuana is not addictive. No treatment. Life just went downhill after the jail time. Something horrible happened my son won't talk about.
I was angry when reading your son's book, thinking how worried you were, just like me, and that's what he was doing as you sat at home going crazy. I am so happy his life is on the right track.
Thank you for the book, You were the best father a boy could have. And I too have found the higher power.