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Topic: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Replies: 12   Pages: 1   Last Post: Apr 3, 2010 8:48 PM by: Winnie

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Replies: 12
still hopeful

Posts: 25
Registered: 9/25/09
It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 29, 2010 4:40 PM
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When I look at the calendar and see that this has been going on for almost 2 years, I seem to have to face that this is going to me part of my life for the rest of my life. I have posted before and stopped because I felt like everytime I gave all of you good news, it came back at me. My son is now 19, 2 months at teen challenge clean and I just got a phone call that he has a 30 day suspension for smokinhg pot/Our new year started with a call from the hospital that he Od and was in critical care. I know I am blessed that he is alive, I just feel so defeated, we all choose as a family to spend Our Easter up visiting him and now I have to tell his brother and sisters that he has let them down yet again.
Thank you for allowing me to share.


lilypad

Posts: 143
Registered: 10/14/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 29, 2010 9:57 PM
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Hoping you can find some hope this Easter season. Having been there I feel the pain in your post. One day at a time may sound trite but so often it is all we can handle. You are doing the right thing. Try to be there for your other children and enjoy the blessing they are to you. God is watching over you and your son - He is faithful. My 17 year old was at TC for nine months in 07-08. After running away twice with other kids and stealing cars both times he was locked up out of state for 8 weeks. We were finally able to bring him home on probation. He stayed clean for about 6 weeks.... he is now in a drug court program after stealing (joy riding) in a neighbor's car. He is clean for now.... I was reminded after he came home from TC that this is a marathon - not a sprint...so true.


still hopeful

Posts: 25
Registered: 9/25/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 8:03 PM
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Thank you My prayers were answered and he is at another program, so I know his head has to be clear or he wouldn't have wound up there. My husband and I will not let him home until he is clean and it is a decision I stuggle with everyday. I will keep your family and son in my prayers and I appreciate your support, it helps to talk with other people who are living it.


tc

Posts: 71
Registered: 1/2/10
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 29, 2010 10:20 PM
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So many ups and downs, it's a relentless roller coaster. Hang in there and we are with you in spirit. It is a marathon and I am naturally a sprinter, so that has been a huge adjustment for me.


cindykay

Posts: 284
Registered: 6/5/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 12:56 AM
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Still Hopeful, Addiction is a roller coaster, full of high hopes then plummeting downward in a spiral. Just when we think we are past the worse, it only gets worse. Then when we least expect it, things get better. It is a life, unless you have lived through it, you can never imagine. For eight years we lived in hell, cutting, OD's, heroin and so many other unimaginable horrors. What keeps us going? Life. The life of a child. Hope is all there is, never give that up as long as your son is alive. Tonight I listened while at work, a segment on the evening news regarding heroin addiction, 1 in 10 rise above the addiction, the others relapse back into the drug. Next week my daughter will have 15 months clean. Is she one of the 10 or will she become one of the 9? Once an addict, always an addict. I can only hope. Your son is still young, he has time. He now has to want it. Relapse in my opinion is part of recovery. We had so many, each time with the best intentions of staying clean. I would anxiously count the days, then get slammed once more by relapse. Eventually they were further apart and she finally made it past the 90 days. Never give up that hope. It may be what keeps you going and give your son the encouragement to keep trying. I will be thinking of you this Easter and pray you all find peace on that day.


lilypad

Posts: 143
Registered: 10/14/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 31, 2010 8:55 PM
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I heard the same statistic about heroin addiction. My son tried it at a time when he was willing to put anything and everything into his body and stay high all the time. Fortunately he has stayed away from it. I am reminded of a woman in my church. She is in her early 60's. She was on the streets, addicted to heroin, hooking to supply her habit for 40 YEARS! She recently celebrated 5 years clean. She is one of the most inspiring people I know. Whenever I hear her story I get tears of joy in my eyes and I know that there is hope in the world.


still hopeful

Posts: 25
Registered: 9/25/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 8:06 PM
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tc, I go by that name for Texas Champion. I was playing with my other 14 year old and my husband and I never play, so since I won, that's my new nick-name. We have found that family time as become even more valuable. Thanks for your words of encouragement. I have a runner, swimmer and football player at home, I will remember that it's a long distance race.


mayabee

Posts: 89
Registered: 9/10/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 29, 2010 10:57 PM
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So sorry- I know how hard this is. What does your son say about this?


still hopeful

Posts: 25
Registered: 9/25/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 1:17 PM
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I haven't spoken with him, we worried all night, that he was alive and safe, I reached out and my prayers are answered, my husband called one of the programs that Teen Challenge recommend and he is there and has been accepted. The emotional strain is exhausting.


cindykay

Posts: 284
Registered: 6/5/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 6:26 PM
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Still Hopeful, I posted a thread earlier and it has disappeared. Hopefully will return. If not, will try to get my thoughts back again. Will give it a day. Still problems with the forum...


still hopeful

Posts: 25
Registered: 9/25/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 7:59 PM
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Thank you I saw that there were many that took the time so share with me and notice I couldn't find the posts. I got good news today and my son is at a Place here in florida called Recovery House. I went to the web site and my husband spoke several times with the counselor so I now know he is at least for this moment in time at a safe place and still trying to better himself. He is there are his own free will and was at teen challenge of his own free will, I know that says a lot about him wanting to get better. I will keep you posted and in my prayers for the stuggles you are dealing with, I will read up so that I can get caught up.


Fatima

Posts: 125
Registered: 12/30/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Apr 1, 2010 11:05 AM
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Still Hopeful, I have been where you are many times. My son too was at Teen Challenge doing great. It's a wonderful Christian Ministry. After 4 months he walked out with a large group of guys. Not having anywhere to go, he ended up at the Salvation Army to return to Teen challenge a month later. That unfortunately didn't work again, since he left a week later. As you can see it's a roller coaster ride. He finally made the decision to go to another program only 3 months long. He finished it mid Feb. and is now at a Sober Living home close to our home. He has a sponsor which he's never wanted to have before. His reasons for leaving Teen Challenge were unfounded but their his, one is that it's too long of a program, the other is that they don't do the 12 steps. As parents we have to let them decide what they want to do. Afterall it's their recovery. It's been a long 10 years of this painful journey. I'm slowly making progress is being less codependent. AlAnon is helping and some great books like "Codependent No More" also you can read "Parents in Pain" by Dr.White a Christian Psychiatrist. You are in my prayers. I hope my sharing helps.


Winnie

Posts: 105
Registered: 9/26/09
Re: It's been a while, I need some hope and I'm searching
Posted: Apr 3, 2010 8:48 PM
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I also believe relapse is part of recovery. The other thing i have figured out is it does not seem to get easier - but you do learn new coping skills - the one I have learned is not to panic and i need to take an hour with myself to think things through. When i found "stuff' in my son's room one time and i was alone i coped very well. I sat down - took a few deep breaths - gave myself a pep talk about how i could this. Got on the internet and phone ect... and then another time my husband was home and all i did was rant. So for each of us we need to figure out how we can cope and be supportive without stressing to much. Unfortunately it is not the same for everyone or we would not all need this website.

Take care and once again i hope the Easter Bunny comes and spoils everyone - you deserve it





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