Replies: 19

mixnroll Posts: 59 Registered: 5/23/10 Re: Relapse Posted: May 30, 2010 6:17 PM   Reply I am sorry to hear that..... hang in there.

missmymom Posts: 32 Registered: 5/23/10 Re: Relapse Posted: May 31, 2010 8:29 AM   Reply I am so sorry. What treatment was your son getting? In all the meetings we attended they spoke of relapse as a given. I hope and pray it doesnt happen but it is always there. Is your son dedicated to starting treatment again right away? Again I am so sorry but it just really hit me the other day that this is gonna be with us for the rest of OUR lives. My son couln't even make it through 2 weeks of sobriety, he started using right away that is why I am asking what treatment your son used. My son failed at outpatient did your son do an inpatient program? I am sorry.

JLP2 Posts: 64 Registered: 2/22/10 Re: Relapse Posted: May 31, 2010 2:35 PM   Reply He went into in-patient treatment with 30 days sober the 1st of January. He was there for 90 days and he has been in a half way house for 60 days. He found an apartment and work and was all ready to move there the end of June when he completed the time at the half way house. I was fearful as the time got nearer as I have been noticing a lot more obsessive behavior in his conversations. He is not in the same town so I don't see him everyday or anything but the worry flags were raised. He was supposed to come home on pass this weekend but said he was going to help someone move. We got a text yesterday morning that he had relapsed and was now afraid he'd go to prison for probation violation and was going to run. I tried to reason with him but at this point dont know what is going on as he is not responding. I can only pray he'll think rationally.

mayabee Posts: 89 Registered: 9/10/09 Re: Relapse Posted: May 31, 2010 3:04 PM   Reply So sorry to hear this. Hope your son chooses not to run. If he runs and gets caught that will only make it worse for him. Hope he can see that. A friend of my son's was in a halfway house after he got out of jail. He didn't relapse, but he had several issues- late getting back to facility, fight with roommate- and was going to have to go before judge. He panicked and ran (and relapsed at that point) but got caught. He now has additional charges. What drug did your son relapse on? If he can stop now the legal consequences may not as bad as if he just gives up and keeps using, and running and getting caught will just add another charge. I know how worried you must be. I've been in similar situations where I was frantic with worry, and I found that saying the Serenity Prayer over & over like a mantra helped me to stay somewhat calm. Definitely not an easy situation. Will keep you and your son in my thoughts. Message was edited by: mayabee

JLP2 Posts: 64 Registered: 2/22/10 Re: Relapse Posted: May 31, 2010 6:15 PM   Reply He relapsed on Meth. It has been a 6 year battle. He has had 10 months sober at one point and now 6 months and here we are once again. I told him all those things you said earlier (by text) but no response. He is a sweet loving boy when he is not using but has lots of issues. His birth mom and two half brothers all deal with addiction we just learned this year. He was raised with no influence of addiction but he is in the same situation. My heart hurts so bad, it's all so scary and so frustrating. I just want to walk and keep walking and not think, but that just doesn't seem possible.

mayabee Posts: 89 Registered: 9/10/09 Re: Relapse Posted: May 31, 2010 8:05 PM   Reply So sorry. Meth is my son's drug of choice as well. He'd had problems with other drugs but this one took him downhill so fast. Hang in there- hope this is just a slip & that he will get back on track.

lilypad Posts: 143 Registered: 10/14/09 Re: Relapse Posted: May 31, 2010 9:40 PM   Reply You and your son are in my prayers - we just went through this. My son is in juvenile detention awaiting placement in a treatment program. He had the same reaction when he relapsed - ran away. My gut just clenched up when I read your news - I know the heartache you are going through. I will pray that your son comes around before he does anything that he will regret and that you will find some peace.

missmymom Posts: 32 Registered: 5/23/10 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 1, 2010 4:31 PM   Reply I am so sorry. I pray your son hears you and he will do the smart thing. Luckily so far we have not had legal problems due to my sons addiction. After reading more posts I now know how important it is for me to really stand up to him and make him go into treatment now, before things get any more out of hand. I want to thank everyone for sharing your stories knowing how hard it must be. Reading the posts everyday is really opening my eyes more and more. I pray we all make it through this.

lori-in-irvine Posts: 109 Registered: 11/29/09 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 1, 2010 12:32 AM   Reply try not to become distraught, although this must be terribly disheartening. Been there, it's like a nightmare you can't wake up from. Relapse is common in recovery, often it takes a few tries before they get it right.

JLP2 Posts: 64 Registered: 2/22/10 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 2, 2010 6:22 AM   Reply 24 hours ago my son called and pleaded for help to know what to do. My only advice was to go back to the half way house and let them help him figure out what needed to happen. He sounded bad, fearful, he hadn't slept since he left the house on Friday, he was suicidal. He wanted to run but he didn't want to. He doesn't believe he can do what it takes to live independently. He finally decided to come home and we would take him back, he should not have been driving. We ended up taking him to a detox there (it's a couple hours from here) and his probation officer will decide what needs to happen. He will need to sleep for a couple days I'm sure. The house will take him back if the p.o. agrees. I have no idea what will happen. He's safe for now.

mixnroll Posts: 59 Registered: 5/23/10 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 2, 2010 7:26 AM   Reply I am glad he is safe for now.... and I am really glad he called you. He sounds scared which is probably good... it is also good he called for help so soon after his relapse.... I hope after he sleeps and detoxes that he does what he needs to do to get his sobriety back. Sounds like you did a great job about being clear about what his choices were and you supported him in getting back.

mayabee Posts: 89 Registered: 9/10/09 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 2, 2010 9:48 AM   Reply Glad that he is ok. Hope that the p.o. agrees to let him come back. If he's done well up until now seems like letting him come back would make sense. Am sure he is scared & depressed but he did the right thing not running. Hang in there.

lilypad Posts: 143 Registered: 10/14/09 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 2, 2010 8:46 PM   Reply What a relief that he did not run. Hopefully when his head clears he will realize what a good decision he made by going to detox. He will have to face the consequences but they are not nearly as bad as the alternative if he had kept using. Stay strong.

An addict's Mom Posts: 143 Registered: 6/4/09 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 8, 2010 1:19 AM   Reply JLP, you are all in my thoughts and prayers. This must be so difficult once again to go from progress to relapse. The progress also can be that he didn't disappear for 6 months, but started pretty quickly to take responsibility for what he had chosen to do. Maybe teh light at the end of this tunnel is getting closer. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

JLP2 Posts: 64 Registered: 2/22/10 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 8, 2010 6:54 AM   Reply Thank you all for your words of encouragement and concern. It is so good to have this place where others really do understand what you are going through. My son is back at the half way house and will finish his last thirty days. His probation officer is violating him and will recommend an aftercare program that he will have to do on his own when he is done at the house. He will likely have house arrest too. They do not want him to live on his own but rather with us where he will have support and help in "life decisions". He is not able to handle stress at all (part of fetal alcohol effect they say). So... we have to clear his apartment and get ready for another stretch of this journey. It's not exactly how I thought life would be at 58 years old but there are no guarantees are there. One day at a time....

mayabee Posts: 89 Registered: 9/10/09 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 8, 2010 8:40 AM   Reply One day at a time and lots of deep breaths. You're so right, no guarantees. Hang in there and take care of yourself!

waterdance Posts: 624 Registered: 6/10/09 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 8, 2010 4:45 PM   Reply Hello All, That is what my doctor said after I was crying to him about my son dying, my daughter using, how I worked hard, how I was a good parent, how they were born with it all ...on and on I went. He said in his smug way "There are no guarantees when you have kids". I was always concerned about not having a "stupid" kid. What a snob I am! It's true I had the brightest of the bright. And now here I am years later fighting emotionally to survive what my kids did to themselves. This is truly a "drug war" and I'm a refugee with psychic scars that has to figure out what to to do with the rest of my life.I'm reading intensely. Have found a lot of stuff that is really babble and then I have found great writings on soul recovery, right-brain thinking,timeshifting. My brain is going through a woprkout.....more next post.

waterdance Posts: 624 Registered: 6/10/09 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 8, 2010 5:08 PM   Reply Here's more....I hear this week that my daughter Stella and grandaughter M have pulled a 4,000 dollar or more scam on e-Bay....all within 30 days. My youngest daughter Janice says "Well Mom they must be desperate" I say,"Yes indeed it takes lots of money for meth, cigarettes, packs of Coco Cola each day for 3 , nevermind the basics of housing, food, utilities." Their two cars aren't running. I doubt if they even have insurance. So now what next? I know some of you think your kid won't go this far for their lifestyle. If they are on drugs long enough and you quit helping and picking up the slack they might. I hope Stella gets arrested. It may save her life. Take care, Deb

Carrie Posts: 52 Registered: 12/28/09 Re: Relapse Posted: Jun 12, 2010 7:07 PM   Reply Amen, Waterdance. It is beyond my wildest fears what my kid has done. Never in a million years did I think some of the stuff that went down at my house while I was at work could possibly happen. And I was oblivious to it all, until the police showed up with a search warrant and, of course, found everything they were looking for and more. Never trust a junkie, sad but true, not even your own blood.