Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums

Replies: 5

Carrie

Posts: 52
Registered: 12/28/09

Think I need another forum
Posted: Jun 16, 2010 12:59 PM

This site has been wonderful but I'm not sure it's exactly where I belong. I have looked for a site for the families of inmates that is not there to plead the inmates case but to soothe their parent, brothers, sisters, etc. I can't find anything, this is the closest that I've come. The correctional system, while sometimes in tandem with addiction, I have found to be a whole separate experience...the shame, the inconvenience, the drain. Is anyone aware of a site like I describe? Just when I think he's locked away and thing are settling down, something shows up in the mailbox that makes me shake and cry and takes away any pleasure that I might be looking toward. This sucks.

JLP2

Posts: 64
Registered: 2/22/10

Re: Think I need another forum
Posted: Jun 16, 2010 11:00 PM

Carrie, I'm sure you'd be surprised how many of us have or are dealing with a child incarcerated. Addiction is one thing, it's terrible, but throw in the stress and demoralization of criminal behavior and it's consequences and it is at times unbearable. There have been times when I thought my heart would literally break. I don't know of any site for what you are asking but I know there are people here who know your pain.

waterdance

Posts: 624
Registered: 6/10/09

Re: Think I need another forum
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 12:46 PM

Hello Carrie, There are some of us who have had relatives in prison because of drug use, My oldest grandaughter has been in and out of jails and prison for over 20 years and more time may come. Then there will be parents here that will have kids in prison in time. Stay with this forum and keep looking for what you want. It's out there. The main thing, the most important thing is for you to start healing. You can do this. Read the codependent books, about timeshifting, spirital healing, taking your own wellbeing serious, watching your health. How long is your son going to be in prison? Hugs, Deb

Carrie

Posts: 52
Registered: 12/28/09

Re: Think I need another forum
Posted: Jun 20, 2010 3:39 PM

My son is looking at a minimum of 10 years, could be 20, could even be more. They told him at court 7 years ago that he is doing "life on the installment plan". And they are correct. I will not stop accepting mail from him, it's the credit agency phones calls and stuff that shows up from various municipalities that I don't want to know anything about. I write "not at this address" on it and send it along. I think, without exaggeration, he's got a minimum of 16 cases pending now...he was on such a tear when he got out the last time. The are not violent crimes but there was a lot of potential for violence and I thank God no one was hurt (that I know of). He has been under psychiatric care from age 4 forward, until I couldn't force it any longer (around age 16 when he decided he didn't need to graduate high school, he was in a private placement therapeutic school). In my heart of hearts I don't believe he belongs in prison; I do believe he shouldn't be on the streets but he needs to be in a therapeutic environment and it's just too late, the system has swallowed him.

Fatima

Posts: 125
Registered: 12/30/09

Re: Think I need another forum
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 9:38 PM

Please continue to read and share your post on this forum. My son has been in jail several times over criminal behavior due to alcohol and drugs. Visiting him in jail on is 27th birthday was one of the most painful moments of my life. Many of us have children either in jail, prison, on soon to be incarcerated. I know how you feel about fearing the mail. I have dreaded receiving lawyer solicitations knowing well that it meant he was in jail. After many years of this, my husband and I decided to remove him from our postal address. We just went to the post office and filled out a change of address as "unknown"; that has eliminated the fear and anxiety of getting his mail. You are in my prayers.

lilypad

Posts: 143
Registered: 10/14/09

Re: Think I need another forum
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 10:09 PM

The first time my son was in detention (kid jail) I looked for support groups - I did not find anything. He is back in detention - I think this is the 5th time. It breaks my heart every time. It is so demoralizing to visit him there - no touching or hugging. He wants news of friends and family and yet it almost seems unfair to be reminding him of all that he is missing. Lord willing he will be out of detention and into treatment by this time next week. He has been locked up since May 7th. So - you are in the right place - many of us here have dealt with this. The only "upside" is that I know he is off the streets and staying clean (I don't know if that last bit is true for adult jail).