Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums

Replies: 5

nalagirl

Posts: 2
Registered: 6/17/10

Eric's story
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 11:57 PM

My beautiful 24 year old son told me about 10 days ago that he is using meth. For the past few years he has been addicted to pain killers. I have tried an intervention (with a therapist involved) spent thousands keeping him out of jail, paying his rent and so on. Finally after therapy for myself I've realized how co-dependant I am. He had a wonderful job with the Forestry Service. He loved that job but was fired for missing too much work. He was unemployed and couch surfing for 13 months. Eric got a job on a boat and left 3 days ago for Alaska and to be honest I was glad to see him get on a plane so that I don't have to witness his self destruction. I pray that Alaska will do him some good but I also realize he has to want to be clean and fight his own demons. For now I am at peace but I am not sure how long that will last. He told me on the way to the airport that he is tired of the way he has been living and wants a new start. I want that for him more than anything. I hope that when he comes back he will be ready for treatment.

missmymom

Posts: 32
Registered: 5/23/10

Re: Eric's story
Posted: Jun 18, 2010 9:11 PM

I hope your son finds his way and I hope your peace lasts. My son is addicted to pain meds too. We have known for about a year now. He did get clean in that time for about 6 months but just relapsed 3 months ago. He is 22 years old. He has detoxed in the hospitial and did an out patient program but relapsed again in 2 weeks so now he is at home detoxed but still is on suboxen for about a month. He is not working because the Family buisness is to slow and he is not needed, he has no money and we took away his car and phone. My problem is he is just living here, not going for any help or in a program, just sleeping late and roaming around the house, he seems okay but this is driving me crazy, what should I do? I am asking you because you seem to have gone through something like this and I believe if you learned something you might share it with me.

nalagirl

Posts: 2
Registered: 6/17/10

Re: Eric's story
Posted: Jun 21, 2010 10:21 PM

Idle time is bad for an addict, my son does a lot better when he has something to keep his mind of the drugs. Find something for your son to do. He needs to keep his mind busy. volunteering, summer sports, classes, working out, chopping wood or whatever it takes to keep his mind, body and spirit healthy, clean and busy. The minute my son gets bored it's right back to the same old friends and bad neighborshoods. Good Luck and get creative! Give him something to look forward to.

missmymom

Posts: 32
Registered: 5/23/10

Re: Eric's story
Posted: Jun 22, 2010 6:50 AM

I read your post, thank you for answering. Believe me I am suggesting everything actually just the other day it got loud because when he said "I'm bored" I flat out told him get a job, you can't depend on the family buisness, you have no money, you can't have your car till you can make the payments so just get out there and find a job. One problem we are dealing with is he just had an MRI and they found a herniated disc. We told the doc no pain meds, but for him I think the pain is 10xs as bad because he know he can't take anything. He uses his back pain as an excuse to get moving.( I am not minimizing his pain) He is doing Physical Therapy 2x a week, if he makes it.

missmymom

Posts: 32
Registered: 5/23/10

Re: Eric's story
Posted: Jun 22, 2010 6:57 AM

I can not imagine my sos being so far away from me. He has benn on weekends here and there buy never a real trip. I hope Alaska is the answer for your son.
I can't help but blame my sons addiction on something I did wrong. Always keeping him too close, never really letting him fail or suffer any consequences. Never truly learning the meaning of the word responsibility. I am trying my hardest to stand strong now. I know that it is early in his addiction and if I stay on top of things maybe he will have a chance at a good life. I also know after reading alot of the posts it is not up to me it is his decision, his life, I just have to learn to remember that! Thank you again for listening (to much coffee this morning)

bluewave

Posts: 4
Registered: 6/15/10

Re: Eric's story
Posted: Jun 22, 2010 1:37 PM

I understand your pain so well. My own 23 year old son has been addicted to pain killers, oxycontin for nearly 6 years and I finally had to make him move out of my house. He is now living with his father, working as a landscaper but not seeking treatment. I don't believe he will be able to beat this addiction without help or he would have years ago. He is in denial and angry with me for kicking him out. It's amazing to me that he can keep a job. I want desperately for him to get help but I must say that I am more at peace not having him under my roof. We must remember not to blame ourselves but it's hard not to.