Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums

Replies: 4

mixnroll

Posts: 59
Registered: 5/23/10

Socializing
Posted: Jun 6, 2010 5:18 PM

We have been talking about the difficulties in seeing people whose kids are all doing great and how hard that is. I hqve been invited to a lunch this week by one friend who has a freshman daughter. She is a good friend and knows the situation with my son. There will be several women at thisnlunc whom I like and who have kids my daughters age. Theree will also be q couple of women who hqve sons who are seniors. Inhave known these women for years but am not really close to them. I just am not sure I can stqnd having them ask me about my sons plans (none). I am not sure I can stand hearing about graduation or the prom or their excitement for college. Yet a part of me wants toehold my head up hight get together with the other women and not let my sons issues get in my own way of a good time. It is so hard. How do you all handle situations like this?

tc

Posts: 71
Registered: 1/2/10

Re: Socializing
Posted: Jun 7, 2010 12:26 AM

Graduation time of year is very hard and brings additional challenges. I read on a mom's blog that she handles the questions by saying " He's doing great" or some vague response and then quickly shifts the conversation back to them by asking about them or their family, children, etc.. Good luck and I appreciate the difficulty. I have often avoided functions, but sometimes do go, but only if it's worth it if you know what I mean.

lori-in-irvine

Posts: 109
Registered: 11/29/09

Re: Socializing
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 9:35 PM

with people who don't know my son's history I usually just say "he's trying to find himself, you know how hard it is for some kids" and leave it at that, they don't usually pry. Your friend knows the story so lying will make you look bad and the truth will probably make everyone else uncomfortable. If you think you will have a good time, and can put your troubles aside for a few hours, go ahead and attend, but if hearing about everyone else's good fortune will make you feel bad take a rain check, leaving the door open for future invitations. This is a brutal experience, don't feel guilty for feeling like you are on the outside looking in, that's part of the terribleness of this experience. I tend to gravitate toward others in the same boat when things are especially tough. Do whatever works to keep your sanity. Just remember, you are not alone!

mixnroll

Posts: 59
Registered: 5/23/10

Re: Socializing
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 9:55 PM

I did end up going to the lunch. I was in a better place by then so I went and held my head up high. I did see this one person who had heard some stuff and said she had thought of calling me and had been thinking of me. It was really kind of ok. I was honest but did not dwell or give too much information. I basically said my son was ok and working on graduating and left it at that. I asked the two senior moms where their sons were going to college and we left it at that. It was ok. I felt good that I went. Thanks for your thoughts on this.

waterdance

Posts: 624
Registered: 6/10/09

Re: Socializing
Posted: Jun 12, 2010 4:23 PM

Good Afternoon All, Lori writes something about sanity. I see a bumper sticker that reads "My Goal Is Safety". I'm thinking I need a bumper sticker that reads "My Goal Is Sanity". I seek this everyday. I have noticed that I don't see those horrid "My Kid Made The Honor Roll This Month" stickers like I use to see. Speaking of stickers, did I write about how the local post mistress accused me of using a mouse sticker for a stamp. Where does the postal service get these people?? Daughter Janice in Vegas has the stamp on her refrigerator and laughs about the story all the time. Now I am looking for stickers that I can neatly put 44 cents on!! Ha Ha! Love, Deb