Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums

Replies: 10

Boogalou

Posts: 5
Registered: 7/10/10

New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 10, 2010 6:14 AM

Hello everyone,
This is my first post and I'll addmit I'm a little timid. Not because I find all of you intimidating, not in the slitest. Infact, the opposite. You are all beautiful people with such beautiful words like Nic and David. I am intimidated to addmit my truth. I guess I'm still shocked and embarrassed to speak up. I have gone through people who no longer accept me for who I am, so therefore I always wonder when that will happen again. (That's my anxiety for you, haha)
Upon reading both extraordinary books, I realized I need to reach out more. So why not to people who are going through it themselfs or witnessing it?
I am young and I am addict. These past two years have been rocky for both my family and I. I have seen countless amount of specialists and I feel I have exhausted every option. I am tired, very tired, and so is my family. I feel hopeless I will not succeed. I fear my disease and cringe at the thought of living with it forever.
I work on trying to stay in the moment and not get ahead of myself, but what if the moment sucks most the time?
I am lost and confused as to where I can go from here. I need help although I'm already receiving as much as I possibly can from so called 'Health Care'.
If there is anything you can suggest, I will except it with open arms.
Thank you so much for your time!
And thank you beyound words, David and Nic, I truely wouldn't be here if it weren't for your books and courage.
-Boogalou

Message was edited by: Boogalou

mayabee

Posts: 89
Registered: 9/10/09

Re: New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 10, 2010 9:57 PM

Glad you posted. I am not an addict myself, but my son is and I know a number of others who have struggled. Have you tried NA meetings- either face to face or online? Getting support from people who understand what you're going through can help a lot. Not sure what sort of help you've gotten through the health care system, but reaching out as you have here is great. Hang in there!

Boogalou

Posts: 5
Registered: 7/10/10

Re: New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 11, 2010 6:16 AM

Thank you mayabee!
I'm sorry to hear of your son and wish both him and your whole family the best of luck!
I have tried meetings, yes. But I am at a younger age and its hard to find a meeting I fit into. I'm either to old or far to young. I seem short of those people who understand. Aside from my family, my counselor, and psychiatrist, I'm short numbered. Its the loneliness that can drive you over board.
I`ve seen many counselors, doctors, hospitals, groups, ect. Inclueding medication as well. It seems like theres no other option the Health Care can provide.
Thank you for replying, and hang in there too! No matter what, your son will never stop loving you.

Message was edited by: Boogalou

Message was edited by: Boogalou

An addict's Mom

Posts: 143
Registered: 6/4/09

Re: New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 12, 2010 11:43 PM

My son has been sober over 3 years. amazing and I am grateful. Lonliness was his biggest challenge early on...the other young people he knew were either young, having not experienced all that he had or were in teh party mode. Early sobriety wasn't easy for him either. He got involved in AA. The problem with young peopl'e groups is that there are few people with any long term sobriety...some who had what he wanted. He got involved in a meeting in teh city, lots of "characters" but they were making it work. Most of his really close friends now are 10-20 years older than he is and have quite a few years sober themselves. he met people who did " have what he wanted" and was able to listen to how they got there and make iot work...slowly, sometimes really painfully. Part of AA is for talking, I think a lot of it is listening...and that's what he did. Today he lives a very spiritual and service based life. He travels to recovery centers and teh local detox and tells his story to those who need to know that recover can not only mean sanity, it can actually be fun. Hang in there and you are in my prayers tonight.

consumedbythis

Posts: 4
Registered: 7/10/10

Re: New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 10, 2010 10:49 PM

Because you are lucid (which is great!) but consumed with your past at this point, try a different change of pace...fulfillment. Set small goals for every day and a narrow list for long-term goals. Life can be a struggle in this economy but being resourceful is a plus. Look into volunteering at something that brings you a distraction from yourself...like devoting time to an animal shelter. They always need help and animals only want basic necessities like food, comfort and your attention. Wonderful therapy. Or help a local food bank with boxing food for those less fortunate in need. Feeling compassion for others always seems to bring an overwhelming sense of self-worth and fulfillment for me. Please believe in yourself and your rewards will sprinkle from the stars. Remember, one day at a time and God Speed with what I am sure will be a wonderful life.

Boogalou

Posts: 5
Registered: 7/10/10

Re: New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 11, 2010 6:26 AM

Thank you consumedbythis!
Your right, my past has this nasty way of jumping on my back at times and the future teases me just out of reach. I do set goals, big and small, but not offten. For awhile I kept failing to meet them and that reasulted in disappointment and I ended up beating on myself pretty hard. I doubt myself to much and it keeps me from doing things that in the end, would probably help me more.
I swear, sometimes I think my brain jumped into a blender. Cause I always have some question as to why I can`t get my act together. Its a mistery.
I love to work with people or with animals. I hope one day to become a counselor or someone to help out in the Mental Health Care (my goal of the day).
I will take you up on that idea and look into some volunteering.
Thank you for your helpful comment, I send my good wishes to you.

Message was edited by: Boogalou

consumedbythis

Posts: 4
Registered: 7/10/10

Re: New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 13, 2010 9:51 PM

Boogalou,
How are you? Have had you on my mind but site was down. Before you go to bed every night, try writing down just one thing you wish to accomplish the next day. Will help you focus on just the immediate. In a week, try two things per day. You could also try a new hobby (like knitting or cross-stitch) that keeps your hands busy. Give these items away as presents. Very rewarding!
Start each day with a good shower and a smile in the mirror to yourself! Works wonders for your self-esteem!
Also, rocking in a chair while doing word-search books is a good way to burn-up the cob webs in your head. Walking helps clear the mind and eliminate excess energy.
Remember, you have great potential and you can (and will) succeed!
One day at a time....one step at a time....and may you have the warm sun or bright stars to light your way.

waterdance

Posts: 624
Registered: 6/10/09

Re: New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 11, 2010 8:41 AM

Hello Boogalou.....Interesting name. Mixnroll has one too. Can see the answers to your post but I'm sure they will pop up soon.
Your question...."what if the moment sucks most of the time?" Try reading about right-brain thinking, timeshifting, spiritual healing. Read a bunch and then keep reading. In time you will understand it and you can practice making living in the now part of your life and your life will change. The world doesn't give a rats ass if you get it or not. It will just keep clanging,clicking, popping, hissing, shining, shimmering, changing colors. smelling like flowers, horse dong, dust, smoke,limes, old newspapers, rain etc. anyway. Wishing you good luck, Deb

Boogalou

Posts: 5
Registered: 7/10/10

Re: New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 11, 2010 11:54 PM

Hi Deb,
My mom calls me Boogalou. And my mom is the world to me so I thought it would be a good name to use. You can call me Mikayla if you'd like.
I love to read, do you recomend any books that could help?
Your message cheered me up! Just the way you wrote it put a smile on my face.
Thanks again waterdance! Have an awesome day.

lulu

Posts: 1
Registered: 7/12/10

Re: New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 12, 2010 12:56 PM

Boogalou,
Please keep working at.
Have you tried a 12 step group? I hope that you can find one in your area. AA, NA, CA. Plug in and maybe you can get some help from a recovery "community."
There are so many residential programs out there. Some are free or little or no cost. You must be willing and want it sobriety MORE THAN ANYTHING.
Lulu

still hopeful

Posts: 25
Registered: 9/25/09

Re: New and in need of help
Posted: Jul 15, 2010 8:02 PM

Keep your courage. My son is now 19 and started this just before his 18th birthday. He is battling. I just want to thank you for reaching out to these wonderful people on this site and having the courage to ask for support and help. I pray for the day my son calls me and tells me he needs help instead of something else. I hope you realize the strength you have shown just by your post. Keep strong and reach to the people who tell you they are there for you and not to the people who will tell you what you want to hear.