Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums

Replies: 2

4myfreedom

Posts: 2
Registered: 8/13/10

generational hell
Posted: Aug 13, 2010 10:09 PM

I read this book and my passion towards combating addiction one day at a time has been renewed. I am in the center of an intimate relationship with this evil. My father and both of my brothers are dead from it. I fought for many years to accumulate 9 years clean and sober one day at a time. Now I watch my daughters suffer with their own addictions. While reading this book I felt the pain of being an addict, being the parent of an addict and thinking about my Mother and her devastating losses. I agree, this world needs to demonstrate some courage by taking a stand against this thing that wages war in every aspect of our society. I am not sure what more I can do other than service in my own 12 step program but I felt that the power of speaking out was important. I view the anniversaries of my brother's deaths as their sobriety dates today. I have been given the gift of living sober. Their path was to die to get sober. Neither one of my daughter's is interested in recovery at this time however my niece accepted sobriety on the anniversary of her father's death almost three years ago. With addiction I must focus on the success's rather than the defeats. I miss my girls, at least the people they used to be. I have no idea what's in store for them. I only know that hope is lost in active addiction and found in remission. Thank you.

Ann

Posts: 646
Registered: 6/6/09

Re: generational hell
Posted: Aug 13, 2010 11:39 PM

Welcome and thank you for sharing your story. We all understand here the hell of addiction. Your post deeply moved me. My heart hurts for you tonight.

Addiction is devastating. I have also lost loved ones from addiction and I am afraid that I may lose my son. I can only imagine what you must have had to go through to reach sobriety.

When I read post like yours, I am reminded that we can only take one day at a time. Please come back and share with us. You express your feelings so well and you are truly a glimmer of hope, that as hard as it may be sobriety can happen.

Ann

4myfreedom

Posts: 2
Registered: 8/13/10

Re: generational hell
Posted: Aug 14, 2010 8:05 AM

Thank you Ann for your welcoming words. I have been thinking so much lately about the true powerlessness of this disease and the effects it has on so many degrees of separation around it.
I believed for so long that it was about the drugs or the alcohol. Acceptance for me means knowing that even in remission I am different. One of the great differences between alcoholism and cancer is that people accept that cancer patients can't always choose their remission. They believe alcoholics can. I know I thought that about my father my whole life. I was a number of years sober when I accepted that I always had an expectation that his alcoholism should have more integrity than my addiction.
I am so sorry about your son. Learning to live while our children self destruct is such a disturbing state. I am completely accepting of the fact that mine must choose help for themselves and yet it is still so painful to watch.
When my brothers died they thought I was sober. I had relapsed with pills but I hadn't told anyone. I judged them harshly and resented them horribly for their addictions. When I got clean the last time I realized the importance of being right with the people I love. This is what keeps me working so hard on my side of the street with my girls. When I am on their side of the street trying to direct their lives I am angry, bitter and hopeless. If I stay busy doing what I can, (me), then again, hope. Not always comfort but hope. Be well and have a blessed day. Julie