Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums

Replies: 7

heartbroken mom

Posts: 2
Registered: 8/16/10

painful to watch
Posted: Aug 16, 2010 7:24 PM

today my 26 year old daughter stopped in to see if we would pay for her saboxone for this week. she just got a job but needs the money to catch up on bills. she lives between her car and 2 places with friends. her once beautiful joyful dog looked thin and tired, dirty. the dog stays with her friends who do not have fleas. my daughter brought her boyfriend who doesnt drive or apparently have a job. she is stick thin with dark circles and said "look at my hair, i had it cut and it's almost back to my natural color" I can not breath. My heart hurts, my whole body aches. she actually stinks. she has no idea how bad she looks. My husband called the pharmacy and paid for one week. she is probably selling it. we need to go back to the LAADC to help to stop enabling my daughter. My coworkers and casual friends have no idea. my family is afraid to ask about her, i don't tell them anyway. I wish I was better

Carrie

Posts: 52
Registered: 12/28/09

Re: painful to watch
Posted: Aug 16, 2010 8:34 PM

I feel your pain. Know that you are not alone. Until recently I didn't tell my family about the tragedy of my son. Now 80% speak to me less than they ever did. I don't know if they are ashamed or bewildered but I find it hard to fathom having my own family shun me. I wouldn't think to tell co-workers, I'd just be fodder for the rumor mill. I do get relief from this site, here and at my shrink. Take care of yourself; I have found that others won't. Bless you.

JLP2

Posts: 64
Registered: 2/22/10

Re: painful to watch
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 8:08 AM

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers today. I can feel your angst and pain and I hurt for you. Please remember to take care of yourself.

Fatima

Posts: 125
Registered: 12/30/09

Re: painful to watch
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 1:59 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you. My 19 year old daughter also looks terribly ill. Her youth is fading away. My family is supportive but most are still in shock about both of my kids in so much trouble. My husband doesn't want to attend family reunions any more. He feels sadness, shame and guilt. Very few of my coworkers now. I pray, attend Alanon, therapy and this forum.

Bethsmom

Posts: 21
Registered: 7/5/10

Re: painful to watch
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 6:48 PM

I am so sorry for your troubles. It is hard to to draw the line between helping and enabling. The stress can make you ill as I have experienced. You have to take care of yourself. Continue to write on this forum. It helps. If you can, try to get your daughter in a treatment program. I'llpray for you and your daughter. My daughter is in treatment for the third time and I can only hope it helps.

waterdance

Posts: 624
Registered: 6/10/09

Re: painful to watch
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 11:09 PM

Hello My Friends, These stories...so alarming...so sad.As all of you know I have not seen my oldest daughter Stella in over four years She looked terrible the last time I saw her and had been looking so drawn out for some time already. She went to hospital recently. She thought she was having an heart attack. She wasn't but after testing she was told that there was heart damage and that she was to go off of trasazone and all anti-depressants. What the hell has happened in this country to all our kids who have had all the great advantages in life? Stella was given the gifts of exceptional good looks, good health and an high I Q and all of it is gone. At times she acts out of her mind. I'm haunted....what did I do wrong? Was it me? Is it our culture? Do we teach them that they should have it all without effort? There is such a great big fantastic world out there. Living cold sober can be wonderous. Are we raising even more ungrateful children? The years ahead will be tough and to get a good life will take resourcefulness, creativity and courage. I hear my grown grandchildren complaining about what they don't have and how they feel entitled to so much. Does our education in our schools need to change? Do we need to teach our preschoolers differently? Handling this drug problem needs think tanks across the country. I feel I can not save my own children but I think of seeking answers for the future genderations. The times all of you are going through now is my history. I work at changing my mind set so that I can find a life once more. Thinking of all of you with understanding. Hugs all around tonight, Deb

Ann

Posts: 646
Registered: 6/6/09

Re: painful to watch
Posted: Aug 18, 2010 12:32 AM

My heart goes out to you tonight. I know the "I cannot breathe, my heart hurts feeling, and the longer it continues the harder it gets. We do everything we know to do and yet we cannot stop them. All we can do is hope and pray that decide they want to live instead of die.
Love,
Ann

An addict's Mom

Posts: 143
Registered: 6/4/09

Re: painful to watch
Posted: Aug 18, 2010 2:33 AM

It is heartbreaking to think of the pain these children are in and the pain they cause. Deb, I agree about the think tanks to take on this problem. Just today I had some time with my son before he heads back to school. We talked about the why and how of addiction, where he is in the process and why the summer has been more of a struggle for him. Not craving drugs, but wrestling with life. I can't begin to tell you how that scares me. He has tools in place to stay sober, had lunch with an old timer he admires who seems to have said what he needed to hear. He wants answers but at the same time knows there are none. He shared his theories about when curiosity crossed over into compulsion, I still think all the markers were there when he was a small child and I can't rule out the predisposition and life circumstances that landed him an addict. Deep down, I think he wants to stop others from having to go through the hell he went through. Maybe that just can't be done? Every time I read an update on this site I wish there were some easy answer or solution. Some magic elixer that would absolve each of those suffering from pain. Sometimes I just wish there was hope. Know that you are all in my prayers tonight and I think of you often. Laura