I'm just one more mother that's chasing my son he is a heroin addict. He is 24 and he has been on drugs for 6 years. I have read the beautiful boy and I thought I was the only one that would lay in bed at night and walk though Jeff's O D. Walking the floors all night and the best sound in the world to me was that door opening at night then I would think god one more time. The first time jeff was gone and I came home from work one day and he was sitting in the front yard. I told him something and I do mean this with all my heart. I looked at him and said jeff if god came down and sit by me and told me janice I will make your son all better he will never use again. But I have to take you with me I would I would die for him and I would not think about it I would just go. That was the first time I put him in rehab and for one month I could sleep at night. He just keeps going back to this drug. We live in a small town in michigan and out in the country he comes from a good family he could have gone to any college in the world his dad seen to that. But he wanted to go to the college of drugs. We have had to go get him off the streets of Detroit. We have him home now and he is under lock and key has his dad say's. I have to keep him a live. his girl friend just died of a drug O D the police got a call about a girl on 7 mile in detriot she was in the back sit her ID was taken they took off the licence plates off her car and just left her she was 20 a beauiful girl just left. This is what I'm waiting for I don't want it to come but it's coming. help I'm going nuts.
Those of us on the forum understand so well what you're going through. We've experienced the sleepless nights, the relief of hearing our child come in and know that he or she had survived one more day, the fear of what might happen in the future.
It's great that you cam here. Not sure if you have tried Naranon meetings but they can be so helpful- if there is not a face to face meeting in your area there are online meetings. Just being around people who understand (whether in person or online) is important- you can be open & not have to pretend that everything is just fine.
I am so sorry for what you're going through. I will keep you & your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Addiction is a terrible disease, effecting not just the addict but everyone around them. The loved ones spend so much time feeling helpless and extremly tired. All i can say is remain hopeful and do the best you can not to enable. Once i figured that out - my son figured out it was up to him. He is presently clean but he is also in extended care. When he comes home i am sure those feelings will return. I am going to try Naranon - i was going to Alanon but it really was not working for me. Please try and take care of yourself as difficult as that is. One thing my husband as i do is when we find addiction is taking over our lives we will say "lets not talk about that A word" In other words we will not talk about our son or anything to do with addiction. Sometimes that can only be for an hour but we found it helped. I think about all the the tortured soles that come to this web site and hope that we can all find peace and happiness even if just for a little while.