Well, its been about 13 days since I arrived at a treatment center here in Iowa, and I can only remain faithful that this time will work. If you happen to read this David, I was the guy who wrote you about a month ago, but I'm sure you get thousands of emails, and I don't blame you if you forgot about my story. Its been ten years of struggles for me, and the last four or five I've been dying faster than ever, and definitly ready to start living. I really appreciated your email back, it really gave me respect for you as a caring person. Unfortunately I can't just email you again because my email is a myspace email, and I'm not allowed to get on social networking websites here in treatment. I have been diving into the material and groups here, hoping and praying that I'll be able to walk the walk when it comes time. This time I am putting myself in a sober home following my residential treatment. I am in a grief group here, and my psycologist is working on me intensly in this group. Its a hot seat type of treatment, and I am really frightened on coming to grips with my secret demons. I am not sure of where to go for a sober home, but i need to find an affordable one, due to my addiction cleaning out any money I once had. My prescriptions cost me 400 a month, and Its really scary to think about how i will afford that as well....I can only pray that my life will work and I keep on the right track...well its curfew here, so i'll write more tomorrow.....thank you ,jeff
Hi Jeff, Please don't despair. You are in the right place. My son has also been in recovery for many years with many, many relapses. He is now in a sober living home looking for work. Stay strong and believe in yourself. I will be praying for you.
today has been another successful day of sobriety. Today I attended a native american ritual called "The Healing Circle". I have no native blood, but I felt at home there. It was a cleansing experience, and I feel blessed to be a part of it. Today is my 14th day of sobriety. I am trying my hardest to stay positive. The drug "war stories" I hear here at rehab have a tendency to influence my thinking. I find myself back in my using way of thought, and start to make plans of my next use. It scares the hell outta me...I am secluding myself as much as possible to avoid it, but I realize its not healthy to not socialize either. I need to learn to form healthy friendships, and there are very few people to confide in at rehab..but at least there is a couple. Thanks for your time, jeffro
Hang in there! Great that you are participating in activities at the rehab center. Think one of the most important things you can do is to avoid "people, places & things" that will remind you of using. That's been hard for my son, and his slips have come about after being with friends he used with in the past. The Healing Circle sounds like it was a very positive experience- there are many ways of getting in touch with the spiritual, and obviously that ritual was meaningful for you. Keep reaching out for support and have faith that you can stay clean!