Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums

Replies: 2

waterdance

Posts: 624
Registered: 6/10/09

FRom The High Desert October 8, 2010
Posted: Oct 8, 2010 12:08 PM

Hello All, The site seems to be running wacky again. Anyway I'll write and see if this gets on. Lots of hail on Wed., tornados north of here. No injury, 30 homes destroyed. I'm still going for therapy. Hate it but know I'm much better. Not taking any pain pills. Bethsmom, I got your last message and now it has vanished. You are going through a sad time. Please read and find some spirit again. Accepting how we can't change some things is painful. Remember your daughter is still young and there is a chance for recovery. Ann, I hope you are well. You are a darling. I think of all of you and only too well know those horrible bleak days and nights. I still have some but I'm better only because I don't want the rest of my life spent grieving. The way I was, I was killing myself. I picked all my green tomatoes last night using a flashlight because of the freeze coming. Covered the suger baby watermellons over with sheets. Next year need to get all in ground sooner.Love, Deb

Ann

Posts: 646
Registered: 6/6/09

Re: FRom The High Desert October 8, 2010
Posted: Oct 8, 2010 2:58 PM

Deb, I'm glad you are feeling better and not having to take the pain pills. Interesting isn't it that we will avoid pain pills at all cost after the things we have seen.
I understand what you mean about having good and bad days. We just have to keep moving and try to put it behind us as best we can. I don't want to spend the rest of my life grieving either. Seems so hard to see happy days ahead, but they will come hopefully and we have to fight to cherish them. I think of you often and smile when I think of you pushing through the bad memories and heartache to enjoy your life and then go one step further to come here and bring us some sunshine from your world.
All my love,
Ann

waterdance

Posts: 624
Registered: 6/10/09

Re: FRom The High Desert October 8, 2010
Posted: Oct 11, 2010 12:01 PM

Hello All, Thank you for the post Ann. Like you I still have some rough days. Yesterday was one. I miss my children. The youngest, Janice I see and hear from her. Stella, the oldest is only 80 some miles away. Sometimes I think about just getting in the car and going to see for myself but then what?? There is no way that Chuck and I will support addicts or alcoholics again. What relationship I had with Stella was all based on my denial and she used it to the hilt. From that whole mess Chuck and I are still digging out from credit card debt. In about 3 and a half months we will get some of the 401K and pay the cards off. Some I have already settled with. Between Chuck and I we made a lot of money through the years. Most of went to help all our relatives. Believe me it can go on and on, it's never ending. All went down a deep dark pit. And everyone who was addicted then, still is. Some are dead. Yes, I stll love this addicted daughter and have offered help if she will go to VA rehap here. She says. "No way". I must accept what is and what will be. Love, Deb