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Topic: I NEED HELP
Replies: 3   Pages: 1   Last Post: Nov 11, 2010 3:13 PM by: Lori

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Replies: 3
IPPOLITOD@BELLSOUTH.NET

Posts: 1
Registered: 11/1/10
I NEED HELP
Posted: Nov 1, 2010 10:50 PM
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MY DAUGHTER IS 20 YO SHE HAS PROBLY HALF A MILLION DOLLARS IN MED BILLS... NOT MY CONCERN, HOWEVER SHE IS A TOTAL DRUG ADDICT ..IN TREATMENT 3 TIMES UN SUCCSESSFULL ... LAST ONE SHE LEFT AFTER 2 WKS...WAITED 6 WEEKS TO GET IN ...WE HAVE NO MONEY... NOW SHES BACK ON THE STREET...CALLING ME CRYING ."I HAVE NO WHERE TO SLEEP ...NOTHING TO EAT" AM I WRONG?? SHE SHO9ULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUTH THIS B 4 SHE LEFT REHAB... I CANT HELP HER ANYMOR I HAVE LET HER COME HOME MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT ...AND ALL IT DID WAS FUCK UP OUR FAMILY DYNAMIC HERE ...I HAVE 2 OTHER UNDERAGE KIDS...IM HURT AND CONFUSSED ON THE RIGHT THING TO DO ..I LOVE HER SHE IS MY FIRST BORN CHILD,,, DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO...


njmichael

Posts: 1
Registered: 11/3/10
Re: I NEED HELP
Posted: Nov 3, 2010 11:16 AM
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I feel your pain. The best thing you can do for her is to no longer be an enabler, to no longer bail her out of her troubles. When you do so, the message you send to her disease is that the parent will fix everything.

If you want to help her, give her the name and address of a shelter that will take her in. Then, take the phone off the hook and relax.


motto

Posts: 10
Registered: 11/9/10
Re: I NEED HELP
Posted: Nov 9, 2010 1:05 PM
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njmichael is right. This is her disease crying out to you: "give me shelter, make it easier for me." It's a cunning disease, and it takes advantage of our broken hearts.

You have to decide how destructive it will be for you and your family to give an active addict a place to stay. If you can't bear it, direct her lovingly to shelter. You already know that as her mom, there's nothing you can do to make her stop using. This can be depressing, but in a weird way it's freeing. It's not your job because it's beyond your power. I wish you peace. I wish your daughter peace too.


Lori

Posts: 28
Registered: 9/29/10
Re: I NEED HELP
Posted: Nov 11, 2010 3:13 PM
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Your daughter has given you few options. If you take her in you risk throwing your entire family into turmoil, and putting your other kids at risk. Addict can do crazy things. There are some free programs, like Salvation Army and Teen Challenge, when your daughter is ready, desperate enough, she might consider one of these. for now a shelter may have to do if you can find one. My son also dropped out of a program and lived on the street in a sleeping bag for a while, until he got too sick and had to be hospitalized. Even then, he relapsed after a few months of sobriety. Now he is facing jail if he gets kicked out the court ordered program he had been ordered to attend (he has 2 felonies, his life went in the toilet fast). Your daughter may have to find herself with no options except the street or jail before she gets the strength to pull herself out of this pit.





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