Houghton Mifflin Trade and Reference DivisionHoughton MifflinHoughton Mifflin Trade and Reference Division
Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums
Forum Home | Login | Create Account | FAQ | Search

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Discussion Forums » BEAUTIFUL BOY FORUM: Share Your Stories

Topic: Holding onto hope
Replies: 1   Pages: 1   Last Post: Dec 7, 2010 1:01 PM by: Lori

Reply to this Topic Reply to this Topic
Search Forum Search Forum

Go Back Back to Topic List Topics: [ Previous | Next ]
Replies: 1
Basil Marigold

Posts: 1
Registered: 12/5/10
Holding onto hope
Posted: Dec 5, 2010 12:28 AM
  Click to reply to this topic Reply

I am not a mom. I am the aunt of an addicted nephew.

Thank you for stating what is difficult and true: there is no right answer; there is no right way; there is no guarantee. Thank you for offering consolation, permission ... even absolution ... to all the mistakes we (his parents, his grandmothers, me) make along the way in our efforts to help free our beautiful boy from his life and death struggle. And, most of all, thank you for that one pivotal statement: "Do not give up hope and do not give up on him."


Lori

Posts: 28
Registered: 9/29/10
Re: Holding onto hope
Posted: Dec 7, 2010 1:01 PM
  Click to reply to this topic Reply

You speak to me from the heart and I am moved by your words. I am so sorry for your pain, and I understand.

But please consider that the "mistakes" we made with our addicts are not, of themselves, bad actions. They would be merely "supportive" with any non-addict. Cell phones used to keep open lines of communication with our children become devices of destruction when used to call drug dealers. Computers used for homework are portals to online pharmacies. Addicts twist our simple acts of giving into something sinister. Enabling is a very tricky concept, and I think, in the desire to find explanations for the unthinkable, we lay blame with enabling as a major contributing cause, but it's not that simple. At some point with addicts, EVERYTHING we do is a form of enabling, even just loving them can be turned against us since it can give an addict courage to keep the status quo.

You speak the truth when you day that there is no right answer, no right way. I have not given up either, much as I have been encouraged to do so by many wise and compassionate people. I have to let my instincts and reason guide me one day at a time.

thank you for posting.





Home | FAQ | Site Map
Privacy Policy | Trademark Information | Terms and Conditions of Use
Copyright © 2005 Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
Powered by Jive Software