Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums

Replies: 2

MAL

Posts: 8
Registered: 1/9/10

My teenager is addicted to an abusive relationship
Posted: Jan 9, 2010 7:35 PM

Hello. I read Beautiful Boy and just discovered this forum. My eyes are sore from reading the posts, but my heart is open. I hope to find and provide camaraderie and suggestions. A brief introduction: MAL is an acronym that I share with another mother whose son was, like my own, emotionally and physically brutalized - and by the same girl. Her boy was in various psychiatric facilities for over a year, and has recovered. I found her during his hospitalization, and met him upon discharge. They, too, are integral to my lifeline. My 19-year-old has now been with this girl for 19 months. She is a teenage version of the Glenn Close character in Fatal Attraction. Drug and alcohol abuse, initially his primary presenting problem, are now secondary to this relationship addiction. He's been warned repeatedly by mental health and law enforcement professionals: "You're in grave danger." He was seen in the ER 3 times within 10 days this summer. He was hospitalized on a locked ward in November due to suicidal-homicidal ideation (where he was, finally, safe!). We live in constant fear. Does this sound familiar? Anyone? I want my boy back.

Ann

Posts: 646
Registered: 6/6/09

Re: My teenager is addicted to an abusive relationship
Posted: Jan 9, 2010 9:42 PM

Hi Mal, welcome to the forum. Constant fear? Yes, I understand it well. My son has bi-polar disorder, anxiety, depression, and of course he has an addiction to alcohol and some drugs. The past year has been hell on earth. I just got home from the emergency room (was there all day) where I told them in no uncertain terms that he is suicidal and disoriented, he stopped taking his prescribed meds and is angry, delusional, depressed and having severe anxiety. I then told them I would really appreciate it if they did not send him home in two hours or handcuff him and take him to jail. This has happened before. I suggested they sedate him until he can be evaluated and if they did not then I would find out why? This time last year I would have sat there and cried a river and then let them intimidate me and send us home in a few hours, only to end up there again the following night? Sometimes I think it would be easier if I was just dealing with addiction, but when the chemicals in his brain get messed up it turns into chaos. He has been up for five days with rapid cycling and is not safe to be outside of that hospital. So, yes I understand constant fear and heartache. This forum is one of the best things that has happened to me. Loving, caring friends who don't judge. Please continue coming, you will find comfort, wisdom and people who understand you. I'm no where near where I need to be, but I am so much stronger than I was a year ago.
Thinking of you,
Ann

MAL

Posts: 8
Registered: 1/9/10

Re: My teenager is addicted to an abusive relationship
Posted: Jan 11, 2010 8:51 PM

Thank you, Ann, for your kind welcome and support. I'm sorry you spent that entire day in the ER, but am so glad they listened to you.